I find myself torn among different feelings when it comes to my Thai identity. I love to acknowledge my heritage. Our food, language, and culture are rich and attract the attention of non-Thais from around the world. From our beautiful clothing, incredible artwork, and mind-blowingly delicious food, being Thai is pretty awesome. However, shadows darken my pride in my heritage as well. Political issues in Thailand can sometimes make the GOP vs. Democratic race to the White House look like hopscotch at recess; issues with crime, poverty, and the sex trade in mainstream Western media make it seem like Thailand is nothing more than a pit filled with the dark desires of humanity. In short, I gauge my audience to see if telling them my cultural and ethnic heritage will be met with positivity or negativity. I have enough negativity in life; my culture should not be a source of it.
Despite the warring emotions above, I find myself wondering how the current generation of Thais and Thai-Americans in Chicago have not banded together to be a solid, cohesive unit capable of making rational and logical decisions. The older generation has held on to power, despite differences in opinion on how to operate, yet our generation seems content to stay on the sidelines. Maybe the older generation has been in power so long that they don't know how to give it up, and maybe we don't know how to take their place. Maybe it's both, or neither. No one thought to write a manual for taking over these roles of cultural power, and very few of us seem willing to apprentice under an elder's wing.
There has been enmity and fighting in the past, disagreements and scandal (true and rumored), but I've noticed that most of the Thais of my generation actually like each other. We genuinely like each other, despite which temple we attended in our youth or what our parents do/did for a living. This generation is full of working professionals with our own families, trading stories and parenting advice as only friends can. We help each other in our daily and professional lives, yet still, so many of us hide and refuse to take part in preserving and furthering the work our parents' generation so carefully built. We have a presence in Chicago, albeit small, but it will shrink to nothing if we stand by and do nothing.
No, it's not perfect. Not by a long shot. Then again, what is? Just over sixty years ago, Blacks were legally second class citizens who couldn't vote, go to prestigious colleges, or hold jobs of any repute. Today, they are legally equal and can hold any job they want, or go to any school they want, yet racial equity is still far away. If we next-generation Thais shy away from continuing the legacy because it's broken or imperfect, then we've learned nothing about how legacies are built or how change is made. We need to keep working, keep improving, and make ourselves stronger so the Thai voice will be heard loud and clear.
Sound off productively, my friends!
From Ewa Dziadkowiec, a long time friend: As a non-Thai, I liked this piece and actually found parallels to my situation as a first generation American. Seemingly torn between two worlds: how you're encouraged to be a "proper" Polish citizen, yet you want to behave as an American because you were born and raised here.
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